Life as an adult can be quite a trip, with all the things that have to be remembered all the while the meetings and commitments you have to stick to regardless of how trivial they may be or turn out.
The worst part to it all is the pursuit of finding peace or for someone like myself contentment. You see I grew up as a spoiled kid, got what I wanted when I wanted it, it’s safe to say I’m never delighted with whatever I get my hands on.
I get bored real easy despite the value of the item, this way of life slipped its way into my adult years, and well, relationships with the guys I date have gone swimmingly, for me anyway.
I guess you could say I never really experience a genuine, long-lasting relationship or even friendship. It’s like I said I get what I want when I want it, even if it means stepping on a few toes along the way.
Things on my side of life went exceptionally well, up until I bumped into someone who truly wanted to know the real me, it was an odd connection since he didn’t really have a penny to his name but somehow won my heart in the end.
Date after date, the feeling between us grew more potent, it felt like I could throw away the life I used to live just for him to be satisfied with who I am.
But that light that gleamed on his face didn’t last forever; the old me slipped in once more, greed and lust scratched its way up my throat.
I wanted more from him, even though what he already gave was enough, and one night he was gone, leaving me in the despair hole I dug myself in.
The ever-growing feeling of wanting to be loved was once strong, but now every night reminds me of what I used to have with you.
© Roderick Lukenge