I am caught in-between,
Following my emotions
And following my God,
For I am guided by my faith
But my emotion’s tempest
Billows more than ever.
Yea, it wants to rule me –
It seeks to control me
But on my Lord I’ll depend.
I am caught between,
To be vindictive
Or to turn the other cheek
I am torn within
Whether to follow my heart
Or to seek His will
I second-guess myself,
As to see without believing
Or believe without seeing
I sometimes think
Should I reason this out?
Or pray about it?
Between my faith and reality,
Is where I live.
Everyday I pray God helps me
To live by faith
But my eyes sees reality
And my senses reason logic
Hence I am in a constant war within
With both parties seeking to win
And each day,
I am confronted with decisions
That tests my faith
And pleases my flesh
But amidst it all,
I pray God helps me
To seek Him better
To live by faith
And not by sight…
(c) Chukwudi I.
Connected Through Writing 
One odd thing ive come to be grateful for is the gift of repeat failure while trying to quit certain habits. When we fail over and over and over again we gain the gift of getting the same bad results and eventually we figure out how to change our behavior, focus, and prayers so that we get differnt results.
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